Warriors R Us
by Icefang Med Cat
Summary: The warriors go shopping! A funny parody about warriors and their crazy obsession with shopping, Brain Age, and roses! I know, I said no more chapters. Well, I have a perfectly good explanation for that. I LIED! Chapter 8 is now up! R&R people!
1. Chapter 1

Warriors _R_ Us

_When Warriors go shopping_

**(authors note: Disclaimer: I do not own warriors**

**This story was written by Icefang Med Cat and her brother Palmwind, please read all of our other stories!**

**Inspired by: Into the wild more or less**

**Enjoy!)**

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**Firestar's cellphone**: RING RING!

**Firestar**: Yello?

**Greystripe**: YO Firesicle, you wanna go shoppin?

**Firestar**: SURE Greystripe! But… Tigerstar has to come too!

**Tigerstar in backround**: YEAHHHH! This is gonna be Fricken Awesome!

_Three cats walk to mall_

**Tigerstar**: Hey, I want to go to Build-a-bear!

**Greystripe**: OK fine, me and Firestar will meet you there.

_Ravenpaw walks in with a new CD player and headphones on…_

**Firestar**: Not ANOTHER CD player! What did you do to the last one!

**Ravenpaw**: _nervously _They taste good… hey did Tigerstar go to Build-a-bear?

**Greystripe**: Yeah, the little sissy!

**Ravenpaw**: _Starts running _WAIT FOR ME, TIGERSTAR!

_At Build-a-bear_

**Tigerstar**: I want to make a wittle duckie!

**Ravenpaw**: No, I wanna make the duckie!

_Tigerstar and Ravenpaw start fighting_

**Bluestar**: _Walking in _I told you, **I **always get to make the duckie!

**Sandstorm**: CALM DOWN! We have to settle this fairly… bubble gum bubble gum in a dish, how many pieces do you wish… TIGERSTAR!

**Tigerstar**: YEEEEEHAW! Um…. 1,486!

**Ravenpaw: **WHAT, THAT'S NOT FAIR!

**Sandstorm: **1… 2… 3… 4… 5… 6…

**Ravenpaw: **How about 7!

**Tigerstar: **FINE!

**Sandstorm: **9… 10… 11… 12… 17… 25… 12… 7! Bluestar, you're out!

**Bluestar: **Ah shucks!

**Sandstorm: **Bubble gum bubble gum, in a dish, how many pieces do you wish… RAVENPAW!

**Ravenpaw: **YAY I WIN!

**Tigerstar: **No you don't!

**Ravenpaw: **Yes I do!

**Spottedleaf: **Yay I'm back!

**Sandstorm: **Aren't you dead?

**Spottedleaf: **Well, Tigerstar's alive!

**Tigerstar: **That's because I'm special!

**Ravenpaw: **No you're not!

**Tigerstar: **Well, Bluestar is alive too!

**Spottedleaf: **SHUT UP! I have an important message. StarClan thinks that Ravenpaw should win… because he is hot.

**Tigerstar: **Oh darnit!

**Ravenpaw: **YES! _Walks away with tons of She-Cats_

_Meanwhile with Firestar and Greystripe…_

**Greystripe**: Does this dress make me look fat?

**Firestar: **YES!

**Greystripe:** Alright Firestar hand me the next dress!

**Firestar: **OOO, I like this pretty dress, it has sparkly thingeys…

**Greystripe:** Ok, I need some new skirts… I like the one with the frilly things on the edge. Want to go get it for me?

**Firestar:** Sparkly things…

**Greystripe:** Oh no! You are stuck in a trance… OOO sparkly!

_Back at Build-a-bear…_

**Tigerstar: **I wonder what is taking them so long…

**Ravenpaw: **Yeah, which one looks better on my duckie, the pajamas or the flip flops?

**Tigerstar: **We should go look for them!

**Ravenpaw: **Or the dress…

**Tigerstar: **I'll be right back.

_Tigerstar starts looking but gets caught at Auntie Annes._

**Tigerstar: **OOOO… should I get a soft pretzel, or a Pretzeldog?

**Spottedleaf:** _echoey voice _Your destiny is to buy a pretzeldog… _voice fades_

**Bluestar: **I think you should get the soft pretzel.

**Tigerstar: **Yeah, I'm getting the soft pretzel. Ummm… I will have the soft pretzel please!

**Cashier:** That will be $2.50.

**Tigerstar:** Do you have change for a mouse?

_Later that evening driving back to the Forest in Greystripe's red convertable!_

**Tigerstar: **And they did not even have change for a mouse, OOO sparkly dress Greystripe!

**Ravenpaw:** Who is a cute wittle duckie!

**Sandstorm:** OOOO and Firestar, nice skirt!

**Greystripe: **_sobs _That was supposed to be my skirt! AHHHHH Look out for Scourge! _Screeching tires!_ Thank starclan! Just barely missed! HOP IN!

**Scourge:** Thanks! _snorts_ Do you like my new calculator! I can even play video games on it!

**Firestar:** OOO! Do you have Metal Gear 2?

**Scourge: **Nope, But I have Brain Age!

**Greystripe: **_not paying attention to the road _Oh know! Tigerstar, I think I hit your mom!

**Tigerstar:** You are hitting on my mom?

**Greystripe:** NO! I killed her!

**Tigerstar: **NO! Not Mommy!

**Firestar: **Oh no! The car is smashed! Oh well, I guess we will have to walk.

**Greystripe:** But what about my new dress?

**Ravenpaw: **And my duckie doesn't like to walk!

_Couple hours later _

**Scourge:** ugh! I can't take it anymore! _Brings out inhaler _I can't go on much longer… just go on with out me…

**Firestar: **We've only gone about 3 feet.

_Back at camp_

**Clan: **OOO! Sparkly…


	2. Chapter 2

Warriors _R_ Us

When warriors go shopping

**(Authors note: I hope you like this chapter 2! By the way, grammar mistakes were on purpose, and don't forget to review!)**

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**Firestar's Razr: **_Mexican hat dance_

**Firestar: **OOO_starts dancing, not paying attention to who is calling_

**Greystripe: **Answer the darn phone!

**Firestar: **Oh fine! Yello?

**Greystripe: **Yo, you wanna go shoppin?

**Firestar: **Didn't we just go like, 2 hours ago?

**Greystripe: **I'm sorry, can you hear me now?

**Firestar: **And why did you bother calling me if you only had to walk 10 feet to get to my den?

**Greystripe: **How about now?

**Firestar: **_Rolls eyes _Yes I can hear you.

**Greystripe: **And now? How about now?

**Firestar: **yo, are we goin to the mall or not?

_At the mall_

**Firestar:** Greystripe, you already have enough dresses, don't you think you should give it a rest or something… buy some catnip, mouse, vole, anything!

**Greystripe:** I like roses… do you like roses?

**Firestar: **Nevermind… I will be at EA games, if you are looking for me… seeing if they have Metal Gear 2!

_EA games_

**Firestar: **Yo! Do you by any chance have Metal Gear 2?

**Cashier:** No, But we have BRAIN AGE!

_Princess walks in_

**Princess: **Yo! DO you have Brain Age?

**Cashier:** No, But we have METAL GEAR 2!

**Firestar: **You do?

**Cashier**: HUH?

**Firestar**: Metal Gear 2, you said you had it...

**Cashier:** NO, but we have BRAIN AGE!

**Firestar: **Ugh!

**Princess:** YO! Bro! Wuz up! I'm a poet and didn't even no it!

_Back at DEB_

**Greystripe: **roses… roses… roses!

**Silverstream: **Roses! For me?

**Greystripe: **HEY! THEY ARE MY ROSES! GRRRRR

**Silverstream: **Wait, aren't I dead?

**Greystripe: **Yes, you are, now can you loan me… I only have 3 mice and a vole…

**Silverstream:** Don't look at me'z! All I have is a Magpie!

**Ravenpaw: **_Walks in store _HEY ROSES! OOOOOOO!

**Silverstream: **Greystripe wants me to have them.

**Greystripe: **NO! THEY ARE MINE! GRRRRRR!

**Ravenpaw: **Ummmm…. Cats Hiss! Not growl…

**Greystripe: **GRRRRR!

**Ravenpaw:** GRRRRR!

**Silverstream:** CYA! I'm going to the flower shop to get me some roses!

**Ravenpaw and Greystripe:** OOOO ROSES!

_At Auntie Annes_

**Tigerstar**: hmmmm… soft pretzel, or Pretzeldog…

**Cashier: **Its been 4 hours JUST DECIDE ALREADY!

**Tigerstar: **I will have a soft pretzel please!

**Cashier:** FINALLY! That will be $2.50.

**Tigerstar: **Ummm… do you have change for a mice…

**Cashier:** I ALREADY TOLD YOU LIKE FIFTY TIMES! WE DON"T TAKE MICE!

**Tigerstar:** How about roses… do you like roses…

**Cashier: **YEAH! I LOVE ROSES!

**Tigerstar: **sorry, I don't have any roses.

**Cashier: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!**

**Tigerstar:** I'll have a pretzel dog please!

**Cashier:** _runs away_

**Tigerstar:** smooth! WHAT A NICE PERSON!

_Back at EA GAMES!_

**Princess:** DO you like roses….

**Firestar: **METAL GEAR 2! DO YOU HAVE METAL GEAR 2!

**Cashier:** NO! but we have BRAIN AGE!

**Firestar: AHHHHHHHH!**_ Attacks Cashier_

**Princess: **I would like a rose please!

**Cashier:**_ Talking between hesitations_Sorry… we do not have roses but we have METAL GEAR 2!

**Firestar:** _AHHHH! Goes berserk! _I HATE YOU!

**Princess: **I Love you!

**Cashier:** WHAT? You do! I Love you too! Here take some roses!

**Princess: **Ewwww! I hate roses... do you like roses! I like roses!

_Greystripe running in_

**Greystripe:** ROSES! _Steals roses._

_Back at DEB_

**Ravenpaw: **My wittle duckie wants a rose! NOW!

**Cashier: **ALL THE CATS IN THIS MALL ARE GOING CRAZY! AHHHHHHH!

_Cashier runs into wall, then starts babbling about how Harry Potter is real!_

**Ravenpaw: **Whatever! I'm going to the Flowershop!

_At flower shop_

**Silverstream: **I have bought 56 roses and a chocolate bear, and now I think I am going INSANE!

**Ravenpaw:** Yes you are… we should be going soon

**Silverstream: **ok… but before we go…_ slaps Cashier _HARRY POTTER IS **NOT **REAL!


	3. Chapter 3

Warriors _R _Us

_When warriors go shopping_

**(Authors note: Please R&R this new chapter, I'm sorry if some points disturb you… and Palmwind and I wrote this PLEASE R&R all of our other stories! We had a little help from a non-fanfiction user.)**

**Firestar's RAZR: **_Entertainer_

**Firestar: **Yo?

**Tigerstar: **Hey, you have to go to the mall today! I have a big surprise for you!

**Firestar: **Awwwww! You remembered my birthday!

**Tigerstar: **It's your birthday? NO! I'm talking about how I now OWN Auntie Annes!

**Firestar: **Did you get me roses?

**Greystripe: **ROSES!

**Tigerstar: **I didn't get you roses! I got you a pretzel dog!

**Greystripe: **_Looks glum _No… roses…

**Firestar: **Did you get me anything, Greystripe?

**Greystripe: **Oh yes! I got you Brain Age!

**Firestar: **NNNOOOOOO not Brain Age!

**Greystripe: **_starts to cry _you… don't like my present?

**Firestar: **No, I don't.

**Tigerstar: **Oh my gosh! Greystripe is crying, and now I'm gonna cry, and now everyone is going to cry!

**Bluestar: **_cries _I thought we were going to the mall! Boo Hoo!

**Tigerstar: **Um… We're dead…

**Bluestar: **Yay, we can be dead buddies!

**Tigerstar: **Oh, just go to the darn mall!

_At the mall_

**Firestar: **Um, excuse me, but where can I find Auntie Annes?

**Random Person: **The cat… is talking… to me… SWEET! _Starts to twitch_

**Firestar: **SWEET!

**Tigerstar: **Um, I'm right here!

**Firestar:** Oh, right. Well, see ya, random person!

**Tigerstar: **You're not going to buy from my shop!

**Firestar: **Nope, I don't like Pretzels, or dogs.

**Tigerstar: **Boo Hoo!

**Firestar: **So, exactly HOW did you get to own Auntie Annes?

**Tigerstar: **Oh, well, I beat up this twoleg who was like, 15 feet tall! It was hard, because he was like so musclular…

**Bluestar: **_Walks in _Muscular? Ohh….

**Tigerstar:** And then, I clawed his eyes out, and he was gushing blood…

**Firestar: **Seriously?

**Tigerstar: **No, not really. I just acted really cute…

**Firestar: **So, you own all of Auntie Annes?

**Tigerstar: **Yes… Maybe… No. I just own the pretzel dog. But, if you help me, We can RULE ANUTIE ANNES!

**Firestar: **No thanks. Greystripe's dress ripped, and I have to help him pick out a new one.

**Tigerstar:** Oh, I wanna come!

_At DEB_

**Greystripe: **No, Tigerstar can NOT come! He has SUCH a bad taste in dresses! He'll like, cramp my style!

**Tigerstar: **But what about this one, with the teddy bears?

**Greystripe: **No! I don't like teddy bears, for the last time!

**Tigerstar: **FINE! I'm going to go take over Auntie Annes, WITHOUT you people!

**Ravenpaw: **Um… that dress makes you look fat.

**Greystripe: **Well, sorry, but leafbare is coming…

**Firestar: **And where did you come from?

**Ravenpaw: **Barleys farm.

**Firestar: **I meant, how did you get here, you didn't even walk in!

**Ravenpaw: **I took the Barley express.

**Barley: **Oh, my back!

**Ravenpaw: **I'll be at Pet Palace.

**Firestar: **What are you going to do there?

**Ravenpaw: **Petting the cute wittle kitties!

**Barley: **Wait for me, I wanna see the kitties!

_At Pet Palace_

**Ravenpaw: **Oh, look at that one!

**Barley: **Um… Ravenpaw… that's a dog…

**Ravenpaw: **Oh, look at that one!

**Barley: **You mean the brown one?

**Ravenpaw: **Yeah…

**Barley: **Yup, she's a hottie!

**Ravenpaw: **We'll take her! One toy poodle please!

**Cashier: **That will be two mice and a vole!

**Ravenpaw: **Oh, all I have is a magpie…

**Cashier: **I'll take a magpie, I always loved birds…

**Ravenpaw: **Ok, here you go!

**Cashier: **Yum… Magpie… _eats head_

**Ravenpaw: **Um… can I have the hottie now please?

**Barley: **No way, she's mine!

**Cashier: **Um… that's a male…

**Ravenpaw: **Um… you can have it Barley…

**Barley: **OK! _Starts purring_

**Barley, Ravenpaw, poodle-named dogpelt: **_Walk to DEB_

**Barley: **Look at THIS hottie I picked up at the pet store!

**Firestar: **OMG HE'S HAWT!

**Greystripe: **I hate to break it to ya, but that's a tom… and it's also a dog…

**Barley: **I know! Isn't he so hawt?

**Firestar: **_drools_

**Sandstorm: **_Slaps Firstar _No going off with other men!

**Firestar: **You're a man?

**Sandstorm: **Um… here's some roses!

**Greystripe: **ROSES! _Knocks Sandstorm over _OMG She's a He!

**Sandstorm: **Oh, look at that hottie! _Stares at Dogpelt_

**Firestar: **Dude, that's just not right… He's mine!

**Barley: **BUT I SAW HIM FIRST!

**Ravenpaw: **Actually, I saw him first… but I'm not… yeah.

**Sandstorm: **_secretly walks away with Dogpelt as Firestar and Barley fight_

**Barley: **Oh man! He ran away!


	4. Chapter 4

Warriors _R _Us

When warriors go shopping

**(Authors note: Yet another chapter by Palmwind and I! R&R like usual)**

**Firestar's RAZR: **Nokia Tune

**Firestar: **Fine, let' go to the mall!

**Greystripe: **Yay, lets go to the mall!

_At the mall_

**Tigerstar: **would you like a pretzel dog?

**Firestar: **I told you, I hate pretzels, and dogs!

**Tigerstar: **Are you SURE?

**Firestar: **YES!

**Tigerstar: **How about roses?

**Greystripe: **ROSES! _Steals roses_

**Spottedleaf: **OKAY…

**Greystripe: **_hides in corner stroking roses _My precious…

**Spottedleaf: **I'm going to the salon, I'll see all 'yall later! _leaves_

**Greystripe: **Mine! No touchie!

**Firestar: **I didn't touchie!

**Greystripe: **I said no touchie!

**Firestar: **I didn't touchie!

**Greystripe: **_thinks… _Brain… Age…

**Firestar: **AAAAAHHHHHHH! _Runs away_

**Greystripe: **Ha Ha I knew that would get him away! _Eats rose_

_At salon_

**Spottedleaf: **Hey, Goldenflower, what are you doing here?

**Goldenflower:** OOOO this makeup goes great with your eyes!

**Spottedleaf: **GOLDENFLOWER ARE YOU HITTING ON ME!

**Goldenflower: **Sure, Id like a cup of chicken.

**Spottedleaf: **CHICKEN! CHICKEN! CHICKEN! _Starts repeating CHICKEN repeatedly_

**Goldenflower: **Do you like roses?

**Greystripe: **ROSES!

**Spottedleaf: **_still chanting CHICKEN!_

_Greystripe goes back to his corner._

**Greystripe: **_In between sniffles and sobs _I AM A MURDERER!

**Firestar:** huh?

**Greystripe: **_In between sniffles and sobs _I AM A MURDERER!

**Firestar:** huh?

**Greystripe: **_In between sniffles and sobs _I AM A MURDERER!

**Firestar:** huh?

**Greystripe: **I ate a rose!

**Firestar: **huh? OH sorry, can you repeat that?

**Greystripe: **I ate a rose!

**Everyone but Greystripe:** GASPEDY GASP GASP GASP!

_At Auntie Annes because Auntie Annes rock!_

**Tigerstar: **soft Pretzels will take over the world!

**Firestar: **Not if I can help it! _Flys in _Hey, where's my cape?

**Tigerstar: **Ha! I got your cape!

**Firestar: **NNNNOOOO! Without it, I am POWERLESS!

**Tigerstar: **Ha, take this! _Pulls out Brain Age_

**Firestar: **NNNNOOOO! I'm melting!

**Tigerstar: **seriously?

**Firestar: **No not really, I am just burning in hellfire…

**Tigerstar: **oh, ok that is fine… want a pretzel dog.

**Firestar: **ok! I love pretzel dogs!

**Tigerstar: **NNOOO! YOU ARE RESISTING MY POWER! HEAR ME ROAR!

**Firestar: **_in real lion voice _RRRROOOOAARRR!

**Tigerstar: **I CAN DO BETTER THAN THAT!... mew

**Firestar: **WOW! That was good! Almost as good as lionheart.

**Lionhear:** _beats chest and yells like gorge of the jungle!_

**Leafpool: **_walks in _Hallo jeder! Ist es kein schöner Tag?

**Firestar: **Um…

**Leafpool: **Was? Ist etwas falsch?

**Firestar: **Yeah…

**Leafpool: **Was?

**Firestar: **Um… Your talking in German again.

**Leafpool: **Ach, erbärmlich. Klammern Sie an eine Sekunde an...

**Firestar's RAZR:**_Jeopardy_

**Leafpool: **Sorry about that.

**Firestar: **_whispering to Tigerstar through RAZR _Leafpool is training to become a Nazi… **(Authors note: PLEASE DON'T GET MAD AT ME FOR THAT!)**

**Tigerstar: **Oh. KILL THE NAZI! _Eats Leafpool_

**Firestar: **HA HA!

**Sandstorm: **_walks in _MY BABY! _Does Kung Fu on Tigerstar_

**Firestar: **Hey, when did you learn Karate?

**Sandstorm: **At the Kung Fu Karate place next door. I go when you are making dirt!

**Firestar: **I don't take that long!

**Sandstorm: **Yes you do! It takes you like 2 freaken minutes!

**Firestar: **Wow, it takes me that long?

**Sandstorm: **That's long enough for me to earn a new belt! I'm currently a blue!

**Bluestar: **I'm blue… I'm a de I'm a dy If I were green I would die!

**Firestar: **What's with you?

**Bluestar: **I don't know.

**(Authors note: THE END! (of this chappie) Hope you likey! Don't forget to review!)**


	5. Chapter 5

**Warriors **_R _**Us**

_When Warriors go shopping_

**(Authors note: Thanks to all of my reviewers! Palmwind and I are running out of ideas. Got any? Put them in your reviews. Thanks! R&R and by the way… **_this _** means that the cats are thinking.)**

**Firestar's RAZR: **_Cingular Tune_

**Firestar: **I thought I had Verizon… Yello?

**Greystripe: **Seven days…

**Firestar: **What?

**Greystripe: **Seven days…

**Firestar: **Oh. It's been seven days since we were last at the mall.

**Greystripe: **…

**Firestar: **Let me guess, you want to go to the mall.

**Greystripe: **Duh! What do you think!

**Firestar: **I don't think.

**Greystripe: **Yo, how come I never see you play the Brain Age that I got you?

**Firestar: **_throws phone at Tigerstar_

**Tigerstar: **Ouchies! You gave me a boo boo! What was that for?

**Firestar: **I don't know, but lets go.

_At the mall_

**Police Officer: **_points to Tigerstar _Are you Greystripe?

**Tigerstar: **_Uh Oh, did he find out about my secret plan?_

**Greystripe: **I'm Greystripe, sir. What's the problem.

**Police Officer: **You're going to jail.

**Greystripe: **What did I do?

**Police Officer: **You stole and murdered roses.

**Greystripe: **I knew something bad would come of this! _Is taken away_

**Tigerstar: **_Phew. Now I can use my plan to take over Auntie Annes! _I'm going to Auntie Annes…

**Firestar: **Ok.

**Tigerstar: **You don't suspect anything, like, my secret plan…

**Firestar: **Nope! I don't suspect ANYTHING like a secret plan!

**Tigerstar: **Okay just checking. See ya!

_Sandstorm walks in_

**Sandstorm:** Hey, did you hear? Harry Potter is coming to town!

**Firestar: **I thought he wasn't real.

**Sandstorm: **He isn't. Lets go check it out.

**Firestar: **But you just said he wasn't real.

**Sandstorm: **Exactly! I want to be the first cat to pull off his wig!

**Firestar: **Why do you get to be the first one!  
**Sandstorm: **because I'm special.

**Firestar: **Oh. Okay, lets go.

_At Auntie Annes_

**Hawkfrost: **I'm going to rule all of Auntie Annes!

**Tigerstar: **That's okay son, you leave the ruling to your daddy.

**Hawkfrost: **But I wanted to rule Auntie Annes! _Crys_

**Tigerstar: **Oh, my baby is crying… Oh suck it up!

**Hawkfrost: **_sucks in air and turns into Kirby _Ha Ha Ha!

**Tigerstar: **Ahhhhhh! The big legendary pink furball is really my SON? Sweet!

**Hawkfrost/Kirby: **Wow, dad. You must be so proud of me!

**Tigerstar: **No, not really, no.

**Hawkfrost/Kirby: **_wails like a kit _My daddy doesn't love me!

**Tigerstar: **Yup. So how do you plan to take over Auntie Annes?

**Hawkfrost/Kirby: **By destroying you!

**Tigerstar: **Oh, what a good idea! Go right ahead! Want to hear my plan?

**Hawkfrost/Kirby: **No. I don't wa-

**Tigerstar: **Ok. I was going to give everyone roses.

**Greystripe: **Roses! _Steals roses_

**Tigerstar: **How did you get out of jail?

**Greystripe: **I gave the guard a rose…

_At Dicks… sporting goods._

**Mousefur: **Treadmill… _breathes hard _must keep going…

**Firestar: **You've only been on for five seconds… besides why do you want to lose weight anyways?

**Mousefur: **_singing fat song by Weird Al Yenchovic_

**Firestar: **_inching away_ oh god I've got to get out of this nightmare.

_Where ever Harry Potthead is…_

**Sandstorm: **Ha Ha Ha!

**Harry Potter: **Hello little kitty!

**Sandstorm: **Ah Ha! _Pulls on hair, which doesn't come off_

**Harry Potter: **Ow, don't pull on my hair! _Turns Sandstorm into a frog _Now your true love must kiss you for you to turn back!

**Sandstorm: **Oh my god Potthead is real! Hey, Dustpelt!

**Dustpelt: **What is it my love!

**Sandstorm: **Well, Firestar isn't here right now so… kiss me!

**Dustpelt: **Okay. _Kisses Sandstorm, who turns back._

**Sandstorm: **Oh my god you actually did it! You are disgusting!

**Ferncloud: **AAAAHHHHH! _Kills Sandstorm and Dustpelt. _I'm sorry you had to see that Birchkit.

**Birchkit: **Yay, do it again mommy!


	6. Chapter 6

Warriors _R _Us

When warriors go shopping

**(Authors note: R&R!)**

**Firestar's RAZR: **_RING!_

**Firestar: **I'm sorry, Greystripe, but I can't go shopping today.

**Greystripe: **What:(

**Firestar: **I'm jus kidding! Come on, let's go.

**Tigerstar: **Wait for me!

_At EA games_

**Firestar: **_staring _It's… It's… It's…

**Greystripe: **Firestar, look what I found, Brain Age 2, rise of the brains!

**Firestar: **AGH you just ruined my good mood!

**Greystripe: **What? _Looks up _Metal Gear 3…

**Firestar: **And their out of stock! AHHHHH!

_At verizon Wireless_

**Tigerstar: **_with Firestar's RAZR _HA HA HA I am so evil!

**Cashier: **What is it?

**Tigerstar: **I'd like to trade in this black RAZR… for a pink one.

**Cashier: **Here you go!

**Tigerstar: **Aw dude, this pink RAZR is awesome! Too bad it belongs to Firestar. _Walks to EA games _Hey, dude, I traded in your black RAZR for a pink one. HA HA HA!

**Firestar: **Cool, thanks.

**Tigerstar: **What! No! You're supposed to hate pink!

**Greystripe: **No way! It like, totally brings out the color of his eyes!

**Tigerstar: **Eww…

**Sandstorm: **_slap Greystripe_

**Firestar: **Hey, Ferncloud and Birchkit are here! What is today?

**Ferncloud: **It's take your kit to the candy store day.

**Birchkit: **_Munching on candy _Malley's Chocolate!

**Firestar: **Malley's Chocolate! Where?

**Ferncloud: **Oh no, not you too.

**Firestar: **What? Huh? I hate chocolate!

**Ferncloud: **I hate roses.

**Greystripe: **AHHHH!

**Police Officer: **You are under arrest for hating roses. _Drags Ferncloud away_

**Firestar: **So… what do we do with the kid?

**Greystripe: **I guess we just… take it to a candy store.

**Tigerstar: **Oh! I know the perfect candy store! _Takes Birchkit to Auntie Annes_

**Birchkit: **Hmm… soft pretzel, or pretzel dog…

_EA games again_

**Greystripe: **Aw come on Firesicle, just try Brain Age.

**Firestar: **No.

**Greystripe: **Yes.

**Firestar: **No.

**Greystripe: **Yes.

**Firestar: **No.

**Greystripe: **No.

**Firestar: **Yes.

**Greystripe: **Aw, you just fell for the oldest trick in the book!

**Firestar: **I don't read books.

**Greystripe: **_puts in Brain Age and hands Firestar the DS_

**DS: **First question: who is the leader of ThunderClan? Is it A-Firestar B-Lepordstar or C-Larchkit?

**Greystripe: **Larchkit is dead. It's A

**Firestar: **No way it's C _picks C_

**DS: **Correct!

**StarClan: **Woo Hoo!

**Greystripe: **Dude, Metal Gear 3 is back in stock.

**Firestar: **_throws DS _Ah screw this game, I'm buying Metal Gear 3!

**Cashier: **That will be 3 mice.

**Firestar: **Ah, I only have 2 and a half mice!

**Cashier: **Oh well just put the mice together.

**Firestar: **Huh?

**Cashier: **Just put the half you have, and the half you don't have together.

**Firestar: **That makes no sense.

**Cashier: **I know. Now put it together.

**Firestar: **AHHHHH _attacks Cashier _

**Cashier: **Fine, Fine. You can have it for free! Just, don't hurt me!

_Cats go home_

**Firestar: **Ah, dude! I don't have a PS2!

**Tigerstar: **Here, use mine.

**Firestar: **_plays game _Aw dude, Brain Age was way better than this! _Plays Brain Age for the rest of his life!_

**(Authors note: Aw, Firestar finally learned to like Brain Age. THIS IS THE LAST CHAPTER. NO MORE! We are sorry, but we no longer have any ideas. Hope you liked it, and don't forget to review!)**


	7. Chapter 7

Warriors _R _Us!

_When Warrior's go shopping!_

**(AN://Yes, Warrior's R us is back! I know, I told you no more chappies, but I lied. So, here we go, warrior's R us chapter 7! R&R peoplez!)**

**Firestar's RAZR: **_Alltel tune_

**Firestar: **Does Alltel even have a tune? Oh Whatever. _Picks up phone. _Hello, this is Joey's pizza, what can I do for you?

**Greystripe: **Yeah, I'll have a large, double olive…

**Firestar: **Greystripe, is that you?

**Greystripe: **Yeah, hey Marty. How 'ya been lately? Well anyways, make it a medium double olive, you know. A large is just to fattening.

**Firestar: **Greystripe, this is Firestar.

**Greystripe: **You work at Joey's pizza now?

**Firestar: **Yeah… Wait WHAT? Joey's pizza isn't even a real place!

**Greystripe: **Oh, well yeah. My dress is too small now, I think it was because of that stupid anchovy pizza that you made me try. So… do you want to go to the mall?

**Firestar: **What's it worth to 'ya?

**Greystripe: **I'll give you… a rose…

**Firestar: **_musical tone_DON DON DON DON DON!

**Greystripe: **…petal.

**Firestar: **Oh yeah sure whatever. Let's GO!

_Passing Auntie Annes_

**Greystripe: **HA! Look at that! Tigerstar finally got out of jail, but he lost his spot in ruling Auntie Annes! Now he's just a cashier!

**Firestar: **Um… yeah. Let's just go… _slowly starts to walk away._

**Tigerstar: **_spots Firestar _I'm not going to kill you this time. JUST BECAUSE you told the police and sent me to jail doesn't mean I will hurt you. Remember, violence is NOT the answer.

**Firestar: **Hippie.

**Tigerstar: **Anyways, I'm DONE with Auntie Annes. I'm after Dippin Dots now.

**Greystripe: **I thought Hawkfrost took over that.

**Tigerstar: **Yeah, well… Hawkfrost died because well…

**Sandstorm: **_Pops in _A tree fell on him!

**Tigerstar: **_shifty eyes _Yeah, let's just go with that.

**Sandstorm: **Anyways, Greystripe, I have some news for you. Well, you see, I kind of stole your dress and cut it a bit so it would fit to my BEAUTIFUL body!

**Greystripe: **YOU STOLE MY DRESS!? No wonder it was so small!

**Sandstorm: **_cowering _But it was sooooo pretty!

**Firestar: **_slowly slips away into EB games_

**Greystripe: **Well, then you can buy me a new dress! _Drags Sandstorm into DEB!_

_At EB Games_

**Firestar: **What happened to Brain Age?!

**Cashier: **Oh, we don't sell that anymore. We've moved on to Brain Academy!

**Firestar: **NOOOOOOO!

_Back at DEB_

**Greystripe: **What do you think of THIS one? _Model struts out of dressing room_

**Sandstorm: **Whatever. Just hurry up so I can go pick out my tuxedo.

**Greystripe: **Look, if you're not going to take our relationship seriously then I guess we're just over!

**Sandstorm: **Fine, whatever! Here's some mice, go buy yourself a stupid dress with them! I'm going over to American tuxedo! _Walks away in a huff_

_And now we're off to Dippin Dots!_

**Tigerstar: **Maybe if I can just sneak up on them by surprise, or maybe a pack of dogs could take that stupid owner out. Whatever. I'm sticking with Plan A. _Walks up to cash register and points a gun to cashier 2's head. _Take me to your leader!

**Cashier 2: **Like, this is so not cool in all! Do you have any idea what you're doing to my reputation? You're like, murdering it!

**Tigerstar: **Well I guess if you really want me to... _fires gun._

**Leader: **What is it, oh Great One?

**Tigerstar: **I want your company! Oh, and I want some slaves to feed me a bunch of grapes like they did you Julius Caesar…

**Leader: **Yes, oh Great One.

**Tigerstar: **I could get used to this!

_Outside of Flower shop, where Firestar and Greystripe sit 10 minutes Greystripe finally found a dress._

**Greystripe: **Ok, so I bought this rose for Sandy because I feel bad for her and all…

**Firestar: **I heard you broke up with my girlfriend. Why would you do that? Do you have any idea what this could be doing to my girlfriend? Or me? You can't break up with her! You just can't!

**Greystripe: **Yeah, whatever. Well, I really feel bad for Sandy. Do you think she'll like it?

**Sandstorm: **_walking over and talking in a really loud voice _Oh Greystripe I'd LOVE it!

**Greystripe: **_suddenly confused _They're not for you!

**Sandstorm: **WHAT?!

**Greystripe: **_Tosses rose over to Sandy from 'Grease'._

**Sandy: **Oh Greystripe, I'm so… _starts to sing _Hopelessly devoted tooooooo yoooooooouuuuu!

**Tigerstar: **_talking a spot somewhere far away with his mouth full of grapes _Hey! Rnow Strealring my Grirlfriend!

**Sandy: **I'm sorry Tigerstar, but Greystripes just so… MANLY!

**Greystripe and Sandy: **_Walk away_

**Sandstorm: **Well, I guess it's just you and me Firestar.

**Firestar: **_muttering to self _No more Brain Age…

**Sandstorm: **All alone…

**Firestar: **_still muttering to self _No more Brain Age…

**Sandstorm: **…With no one watching…

**Firestar: **_and again to self _No more Brain Age…

**Sandstorm: **You wanna go out with me?

**Firestar: **_to self AGAIN_No...

**Sandstorm: **_Only hearing No _YOU don't want to go out with ME?

**Firestar: **_Snapping out of trance _Huh?

**Sandstorm: **I can't believe you, Firestar! I mean, who wouldn't want to go out with ME?!

**Bluestar: **_Appearing from nowhere _Me!

**Sandstorm: **_Glares eviley at Bluestar, then slaps Firestar and walks away._

**Bluestar: **Uh-oh, I'm gone. _Disappears_

**Tigerstar: **Yeah, I'm pretty tired too. I've been doing SOOO much work today! You know, chewing grapes should be an exercise! _leaves_

**Firestar: **Well I guess I'm leaving too.

**(AN:// Well, that's the end! I know, not as good as the previous, but hey, like I said, I had run out of ideas, and my new ones weren't as good. Well, I hope you liked! Don't forget to read the rest of Palmwind and I's stories, even though my brother didn't help me on this one! Review please! And flame if you like, I love to laugh at those! )**


	8. Chapter 8

Warriors _R _Us

_When warrior's go shopping!_

_**This chapter contains one sexual word in it, so if you can not handle that, please DO NOT read this chapter. I will not be changing the ratings because the rest of the chapters are rated T, and one sexual word should not make the whole thing M when the rest is T.**_

**(AN:// Yay! I'm so happy I've gotten back into this story! Anyways, I don't have many ideas, but the ones I have a hope will be OK! Please read and review, I do accept flames because I love to laugh at how lame people can be! )**

**Firestar's RAZR: **looks around I'm starting to run out of ringtones here.

**Firestar: **Oh, that's ok, Cellphonestar.

**Greystripe: **Ahem, CELLPHONESTAR?! What the-

**Firestar: **WHAT?! You weren't supposed to hear that!

**Greystripe: **_laughs insanely_

**Firestar: **Well, anyways, if you're not calling me, then who is? _Picks up phone _Hello?

**Cinderpaw: **Hey there, Firestar. Anyways, so me and Hazelpaw, and like, the rest of the girls, can't drive ourselves up to the mall, because we haven't gotten our license yet. So, like, will you drive us?

**Firestar: **Greystripe, you wanna go shoppin?!

**Greystipe: **_stops laughing _Ya, sure. Let's GO!

_At the mall_

**Cinderpaw: **_Grabs Greystripes paw and drags him into DEB. _Come on, Greystripe. You have the best taste in dresses, and I think Berrypaw may ask me to the prom soon, so you're going to help me and the rest pick out dresses!

**The Rest: **YAY!

**Greystripe: **_mumbling to self _Oh no, nothings worse then spending the day with a bunch of teenage girls going clothes shopping. _Getting louder _OH MY GOSH, Cinderpaw that one TOTALLY brings out your pelt color, but it doesn't to much with your eyes…

_At Dippin Dots_

**Tigerstar: **WHAT?! I'm only allowed to take over for a day? Oh… you'll pay for this! _Gets dragged away._

**Mudclaw: **Ha! Now that Tigerstar and Hawkfrost are gone, I can finally take over. _Walks to cash registar. _Ahem, I'm here to take ov- OH MY GOD!

**Michael Jackson: **Hello, and what might I do for you?

**Mudclaw: **Oh my god… I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN!

**Onestar: **_runs in. _NO, STOP! He'll **(AN:// Here's the sexual word that I mentioned)** rape you!

**Michael Jackson: **I don't **(AN:// Here it is again!) **rape warriors, I only **(AN:// This is the last time, I swear!) **rape apprentice boys!

**Onestar: **Lionpaw, Berrypaw, RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

**Mudclaw: **That's it, I don't want Dippin Dots anymore! I'm going to cellular king! _Walks to Cellular king. _I'm here to ta- TIGERSTAR! You beat me! ARRRRRGGG!

_In the food court_

**Firestar: **Well, Sandstorm, I guess I'm going to go to Fridays.

**Sandstorm: **I'll go with you!

**Firestar: **_Responding quickly _NO! I mean… I'm sorry, but I really want to go there by myself…

**Sandstorm: **_sadly _oh, ok.

**Firestar: **_walks into Fridays _Table for 2 please!

**Waiter: **Right this way.

_A couple minutes later, still in Fridays_

**Firestar: **Oh, Cellphonestar, this is SOOO romantic!

**Firestar's RAZR: **_does nothing._

**Firestar: **Just you, and me, in a nice restaurant…

**Waiter: **What would you like- Cellphonestar! How could you abandon our clan like this, dating another clan's leader! BOO HOO!

**Firestar's RAZR: **_turns to waiter _I'm sorry, but Firestar insisted we go, and I love him!

**Waiter: **_runs away crying._

**Firestar: **Anyways, now that we're all alone… _pulls out ring _Will you marry me?

**Firestar's RAZR: **_gasps _Of course I will! _Snatches ring and puts it on. _Oh, it's so…. FUGLY! AHHHH! _Takes off ring, throws it, and runs out of the restaurant._

**Firestar: **Cellphonestar, come back! Oh… there goes another one. _Sighs and walks to the cingular store to buy another RAZR._

_Meanwhile back at DEB, 5 minutes later._

**Greystripe: **Hazelpaw, that one looks amazing on you, and totally great on your curves!

**Hazelpaw: **Well, I guess everyone has a dress, so let's go!

**Michael Jackson: **_runs in and in highpitched voice says, _THE END!

**(AN:// That's right, you heard him, THE END! Sorry this one was kind of short. Like I said, not many ideas pop up when I don't have my brother helping me. And mine turn out… well, as you can see, kind of creepy. I hope you liked it, please don't forget to review!)**


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